Women!

Go down

Women!

Post by mental on Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:11 am

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.
One woman said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does."
The second woman giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft."
The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked, "Say, what do you call your husband?"
She frowned and said, "The postman."
"Why the postman?"
"Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box."
avatar
mental
Warrior
Warrior

Posts : 60
Join date : 2008-01-06

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Women!

Post by mental on Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:13 am

This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. So the guy sits down next to her and pulls a small box from his pocket. He opens it and there's a frog inside.
The blonde says, "He's cute, but does he do tricks?"
The guy says, "Yea, he licks pussy."
So after talking with her for several minutes, he convinces her to come with him to his apartment.
They get there and she takes all of her clothes off, gets into the bed and spreads her legs. The guy sets the frog right between her legs and it just sits there not moving at all.
The blond says, "Well? what's up?"
The frog still does not move.
So the guy leans over to the frog and says, "All right, I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"
avatar
mental
Warrior
Warrior

Posts : 60
Join date : 2008-01-06

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Women!

Post by mental on Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:14 am

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says,
"OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person...
because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little fucker on your knee!"
avatar
mental
Warrior
Warrior

Posts : 60
Join date : 2008-01-06

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Women!

Post by mental on Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:15 am

Becky was on her deathbed with her husband, John, maintaining a steady vigil by her side. As he held her fragile hand, his warm tears ran silently down his face, splashed onto her face, and roused her from her slumber.
She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling John," she whispered.
"Hush, my love," he said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk."
But she was insistent. "John," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess" replied the weeping John. "It's all right. everything's all right, go to sleep now."
"No, no. I must die in peace, John. I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father."
John mustered a pained smile and stroked her hand. "Hush now Becky, don't torment yourself. I know all about it." he said, "Why do you think I poisoned you?"
avatar
mental
Warrior
Warrior

Posts : 60
Join date : 2008-01-06

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Women!

Post by mental on Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:15 am

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?

A: A women who won't do what she's told.
avatar
mental
Warrior
Warrior

Posts : 60
Join date : 2008-01-06

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Women!

Post by mental on Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:16 am

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"
"No!" she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her.
As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.
He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.
"Slut!" he said, and dropped her.
avatar
mental
Warrior
Warrior

Posts : 60
Join date : 2008-01-06

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Women!

Post by mental on Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:17 am

Now come on Ash one of these must be worth some gold or a green Smile
avatar
mental
Warrior
Warrior

Posts : 60
Join date : 2008-01-06

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Women!

Post by Ash on Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:39 pm

without a doubt mate ill show you a selection and you can choose one Smile

_________________
Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward.
Whoever cannot take care of themselves without that law is both.
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant,
'If I die, You are forgiven, If I live, I will kill you.'
Such is the rule of honour.
avatar
Ash
Admin

Posts : 94
Join date : 2007-12-02
Age : 26

View user profile http://goldrocks.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Women!

Post by Ash on Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:39 pm

maybe 2 if im feeling nice

_________________
Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward.
Whoever cannot take care of themselves without that law is both.
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant,
'If I die, You are forgiven, If I live, I will kill you.'
Such is the rule of honour.
avatar
Ash
Admin

Posts : 94
Join date : 2007-12-02
Age : 26

View user profile http://goldrocks.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Women!

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum